Barbeque, black gold, and badlands. Texas was hot and big and boring. We stopped in Houston. Meh. We ate at a restaurant with lots of dead things on the walls. We stopped at a gas station attached to a fancy restaurant. We drove through a vineyard. …. yeah you heard right. A vineyard. I’ll bet the wine tastes like desert with a hint of desert. Then we drove through Austin, which seemed like the only redeeming thing about Texas, but I got sick and didn’t get to really experience the town claiming to be the best in the nation for live music. Oh good. Not like I’m into that or anything… [grumble, grumble]. Well, I’ll just have to go back for the SXSW festival some spring.
Our first stop was in Montgomery, Alabama. What the hell is there to do in Montgomery you might ask. Answer- eat fried chicken
. …Aaaaand go to any and all of the Civil Rights museums/monuments. Shakespeare Park sounded interesting as well, but it was too damn hot to be outside. We went to the Rosa Parks museum located in Troy University. Anyone who gives a shit about history or revolution, even just a tiny lil’ terd, I HIGHLY recommend this museum. It was fascinating, impeccably designed, and as informative as it was entertaining. There’s an actual period bus inside with TV’s for windows showing a theatrical re-enactment of what really happened that day. You know, the one that Outcast sang about. (ah-ha hush that fuss, everybody move to the back of the bus) Now, I guarantee you, unless you did your college thesis on Rosa Parks, you probably don’t realize the all the beautifully intricate layers of effort, work, and patience that went into starting The Civil Rights. There was suffering, sure, everyone has heard about that. But there was so much more. And maybe you don’t think it has anything to do with you if you’re not black. Well, you’re wrong. I’m not a terribly sentimental person, but my eyes welled up a few times. These were truly magnificent souls who fought clean in a dirty war and raised the standards for American life. I was absolutely inspired. You can set this as an analogy for anything you care about, any task you want to accomplish, or any change you’d like to see in your life, big or small.
“Women who behave, rarely make history.” -Rosa Parks.
I bought a t-shirt that says this. I get a lot of compliments on it. 🙂
The next day we headed west, driving through Selma, the starting point of the the famous Civil Rights March.
Time went by too fast on my awesome trip to Marquette. I REALLY needed all that sun, lakewater, and fresh air. Thanks Dad, Christine, Jess, Mike, Indigo, Eli, Lucy, Big Boy, and everyone else I met along the way for making my trip refreshing and memorable! I look forward to seeing everyone again.
And now, I bid you farewell in traditional Yooper style. I’ve been told this is kind of a rite of passage for Marquettians, and after three visits I feel well acquainted with this laid-back, artsy, fun town.
Its my last night in Marquette. Ten days has whooshed by. This trip may have included the most amount of interesting stuff done in the least amount of time. Its strange… despite all of the invigorating, healthy activities and meals, I’m sleeping more than usual. I normally sleep a lot but…. damn, I wonder if I’ll ever see the days when slumber is no longer an issue. My dream world is stressful.
I must say, every once and a while I get a pang of anxiety as the realization gradually sets in that my life is drastically changing. Not to mention the fact that technically, I no longer have a home… or a job for that matter. Just a car full of clothes and music equipment driven by a heart that couldn’t take any more. Don’t get me wrong, the overwhelming feeling is positive, and I have faith everything will work out well, however… the deep stemming seed of worry lets its presence be known during briefly empty moments amidst the avid adventure. The ever-pressing ghost of Burden is whispering in my brain, “what if you run out of money?… what if its more of the same shit just a different toilet?… what if you never live the life you always wanted?…” After everything I’ve been through I’ve learned that there is nothing to grasp onto except a sense spirituality. I do believe in angels, otherwise known as nurturing beings with a higher vibration existing in another dimension, and their desire to help me fulfill my life’s purpose. To whom, or what, they serve, I can’t be sure of, but I know its been around since before religion and I have faith that it is innately good.
The deeper I ponder my ponderings I’m realizing that the primary thing I fear is having to work yet another unfulfilling job for an unfulfilling salary. Even though I know I may have to do this to start before I can move on to better things, I dread the experience, and pray that by some miracle I can circumvent this headache… worrying about being late… worrying about being able to pay bills… not being able to get past the basal needs in order to get to a place of surplus so I may give back to the community, family, friends, the world…. I suppose I put a lot of pressure on myself. I always have. I just always assumed everyone else was desiring and striving to make the world a better place. Little did I realize that most people are primarily concerned with security, material possessions, and endeavors that flatter the ego. Certainly, I am no saint, but I expected a little more. My aunt keeps reassuring me that I’ll find people and places with higher consciousness in my travels.
If ultimately I feel good about the future, then why the bouts of nausea and anxiety?…. Probably because I’ve felt like this many times before and was met with trauma and disaster. Maybe that’s a bit melodramatic, but you get the point.
I’m reading a book called Incognito. Its about the brain written by neurophysicist, David Eagleman. He often returns to the point that our brains create our reality, rather than experience reality that is “out there.” I’d always heard this among the metaphysical community, and it made an impact. However, to hear it from a scientific perspective, well, it stamps the notion even deeper. I work hard to control my mind in order to control my reality, but for anyone who’s ever been “out of their mind” knows that this is an extremely daunting task. I so crave peace in my mind, harmony in my body, and courage for my soul to express its ultimate potential.
So much awesomeness has come to pass, I’m sad I’m leaving in a couple of days. I’m surprised to say that Marquette may become a nominee in potential places to live. However, this is only the first stop. No getting ahead of myself. Right now I’d like to take a cursory look at the last few days… a 13 mile bike ride around the “almost-an-island,” a Seafood Fest that offered fancy surf ‘n turf, an antique car show, and a Pink Floyd tribute band complete with laser show, a sunbath and boat ride at the lake house, a trip to the eclectic farmer’s market, and relaxing acoustic music played by locals at the top floor of the Inn. Hmm… there’s so much to say… so many emotions to convey… how should I start?…. Ooh, I know! Video montage!
Ahhh. Wasn’t that nice? That Godiva chocolate martini was as good as it looked, in case you were wondering. Suffice to say, my vacation has gone above and beyond my greatest expectations, if I had ever had any really. I go back to Atlanta on wednesday, pack my car on thursday, and head out to New Orleans on friday. More blogtastic anecdotes ahead. But I’m still here. Suspended in crystal cool Great Lake bliss, falling asleep to my favorite book under a Yooper sun. (that’s how the folks here refer to the Upper Peh-nins-YOO-la)
I’m here. Starting the soul-searching adventure of a lifetime. This is the kind of shit movies are made of…
Let’s go over *why* I’m here. In a nutshell- a little one, like a single peanut, not the double peanut- (hey, by the way, where the HELL did that phrase originate??) I’d been living in Georgia for 22 years. College didn’t work out, love didn’t work out, rental home living didn’t work out, then life didn’t work out and I spent some time in a mental facility (yeah, I’ll write about that later), and after a catalytic fight with a roommate I impulsively decided to get OUT. Life was draining the life out of me. Dreams weren’t coming true, I couldn’t find fulfillment, and I had lost so much in so little time. I’d gained the accompanying wisdom, but to learn so many lessons in such a compressed slot was almost unbearable. So with 30 around the corner, I decided to close this chapter of my life. I took out my retirement money and started packing.
The coming blogs will be about my travels to find a new home. They will come from Michigan, New Orleans, Austin, Tuscon, Oakland, SanFran, Mt. Shasta, Oregon, and possibly Washington. I’ll also include epiphanies, sardonic delight, and strange metaphysical ponderings.
Welcome to my “big transition.”
…oh and if you’d like to know where the nutshell phrase originated, here’s a link:
SpiralsAndEyes 