I’d like to write some shit about how I’m feeling sorry for myself right now. But I hate that I’m wasting my energy. But at the same time, I believe in getting hurt out, because suppressing it makes it fester. I spent the day at the hospital on friday and endured one of the most painful things I’ve ever been through. My poor heart is going to give up if I have any more anxiety issues. That’s probably not true, but it sure feels like it right now. I’ve been prescribed xanex now. That makes four prescriptions I’m on…
I pray often. Or, send out energy. Or think with intent. However you’d like to look at it. I want to be of service to the Universe, and I know that means a lot of sacrifice and suffering. But I am EXHAUSTED. I really need a break from the calamity. And if you know anything about my life currently, you know this is no exaggeration. I miss having a home. I miss having friends. I miss having a boyfriend. I miss my sister. But mostly, I miss human touch. Don’t get me wrong, I am utterly grateful for this time in my life and what is happening and the people who are supporting me. But, God, angels, spirit guides, animal guides…. please relieve the tension in my heart in a painless way. My chest hurts and its hard to breathe. Please give me the strength to keep going gracefully into the unknown. Life is hard. Every waking moment a challenge right now. Then I go to sleep and have nightmares and wake up screaming. I long for true rest.
SpiralsAndEyes 